Ever thought your partner’s so hot that everybody wants them?
You might have already scrolled into kink forums and keep on seeing the term “hotwifing kink.” What is it anyway?
This fantasy has gone mainstream, and at its core, hotwifing is a form of consensual and non-monogamy where one partner (the hot wife) hooks up with other people, but instead of blowing up the relationship, the other partner encourages and supports this with confidence.
So, let’s walk you through how you can keep boundaries and keep your hotwifing kink sustainable without sacrificing your intimacy.
What is Hotwifing Kink?
The hotwifing trend has been around in the swinger community before and, eventually, in ENM (Ethical Non-Monogamy) communities as well, as a form of role-playing fantasy.
For some couples, they do it as a form of dirty talk, or just acting the entire thing in the bedroom, but for others, they embody the experience by letting one partner have sexual relations with other people, with consent.
The hotwife’s primary partner can watch the sexual encounter or not, but most of them do, because seeing their hotwife getting intimate with someone else turns them on. And by watching, they feel more confident about themselves, because their hotwife’s being desired by other people.
As long as everything is consensual and makes all the partners involved happy, this can be an empowering moment, and the primary partners can also be in a relationship, living together, married, or in a long-distance relationship.
How Hotwifing Kink Can Benefit Your Relationship?
First, hotwifing kink can apply to all genders, and because it’s taboo, it can be super arousing for some people.
As stated in The Body, sexual taboos are more hidden, which makes it much naughtier, and the more prohibited it is, the more we want to explore it.
Hotwifing kink can benefit the relationship because when other people see the hotwife as very attractive, it can open new doors for new arousal, especially for the hotwife’s primary partner.
Hotwifing is also a great way to see their partners getting intimate with other partners, and let their primary partners explore their actions from a third-person point of view.
So What Makes Hotwifing Kink so Appealing to Some Couples?
Find the reasons why couples who are into non-monogamous relationships find this kink so intriguing.
It Empowers Both of You
Let’s admit the fact that misogyny still exists during this time, and there are still vulva owners who reported that they’re being objectified without their consent.
So, hotwifing can be a great way for vulva owners to let themselves let go, be desirable, and yet, with their approval.
If you’re a hotwife yourself, you know that letting other people enjoy your body with consent is way better than being eyeballed in public.
Not Everyone Can Do It
Since it falls in the category of sexual taboo, hotwifing kink can be challenging yet fulfilling, compared with the more traditional and vanilla ones.
Just like golden showers, using toys, toe sucking, or even BDSM play, they’re arousing because they can go beyond the norms.
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And since most vuvla owners are expected to only have sex with their husbands during marriage, getting down with other partners can be a liberating thing. They're freer and defy what society tells them they should be.
Compersion is the Heart of the Game
One of the best things about hotwifing kink? It's compersion.
Compersion is when the other partner feels secondary joy for the other, and an example would be feeling pleasure when watching the other reach their climax.
It’s like the primary partner’s pride whenever they see their hotwife getting off, even if they aren’t the reason.
It can also show up in simpler, everyday moments, just like when you’re watching your partner masturbate (putting on their little show) or playing with thrusters and vibrators, and you’re just genuinely turned on and happy seeing them enjoy themselves.
Related: You Want to Try Kink, But Don’t Know Where to Start
It Changes How You Do Things
There are times when a hotwife wants the experience their primary partners can’t give, whether it’s the mismatched libido, physical challenges, or just not digging each other's kinks.
If the vulva owner wants to experience the action from someone else, then they can set arrangements to feed that curiosity, as long as everyone’s okay with it.
However, it’s also best to get yourselves ready for the challenges that come with open relationships, like social stigma or even jealousy, as per Feeld, and nothing beats communication when it comes to handling these issues. So make sure to be respectful of each other’s triggers and fears.
It Can Bring Other Kinks Out In the Open
If you and your partner have a hotwifing kink, and you practice and enjoy it already, then it might open new doors for other kinks, especially if you both have exhibitionistic tendencies.
If you’re the hotwife, you can have sex with one partner or more, or just let them watch how you do your thing. And if one partner has a thing for voyeurism, they can just watch other people doing it as much as they can.
Hotwifing kink can also relate to cuckolding, where one partner, usually the penis owner, gets aroused when seeing their partner being naughty with another penis owner.
The only difference between the two is that, for hotwifing, the primary partner feels pride when their hotwife is being adored, but for cuckolding, it’s for degrading or humiliating the primary partner by getting down with another.
Are There Some Tips to Keep Hotwifing Safe and Healthy?
Wanna try hotwifing but not sure where to start? Then you can check these tips below to find out if sharing your partner is really for you.
Ask Yourself
Is your hotwifing kink something you want to keep in your fantasy, or do you want to do it physically?
Because once it gets out of your head, then you have to be ready to let your partner be adored, touched, and get intimate with someone else.
But if you find your partner or spouse as the best person to act as the best pornstar ever, while you’re also open to taking photos for collection, then hotwifing might be your thing.
Have Some Heart-to-Heart Talk With Your Partner
Before anything else and before you jump in, remember that your hotwifing kink can only happen after everyone has consented.
This means you can check in with your partner and let them know about it a day before the activity, and not just immediately bringing the guest without their knowledge, but if you’ve been doing an open relationship for so long, then this isn’t a problem.
Still, it’s best to take things slowly, because telling your partner that you want to be a hotwife can be shocking, or even disturbing if not delivered properly.
Be Detailed About Your Boundaries and Experience
If it’s your first time exploring hotwifing, then you might want to set firm boundaries with your partner first, and ask each other what’s fine and what’s not.
And if you want to get more into the details, you can provide each other with a checklist and tick what works and what should be avoided. Be as detailed as possible, from the items you’ll use to how long the action would last.
Also, make sure you chat with everyone about whether you’ll all get tested for STIs first and what you’re doing to prevent pregnancy.
Take It Slow, Because No One’s Rushing
You and your partner might be thrilled to the bone trying a new kink for the first time, and it’s a huge rush to the head, but make sure you’re not going full throttle without taking breaks and respecting each other’s boundaries as you go.
Before you jump in, you can totally give yourself a “research phase” first. Check your local sex clubs or read forums online to see how things will actually play out.
Then, watch some porn that has a hotwifing kink on it; then you can practice role-playing it first, with both of you in the bedroom, as a hotwife and a total stranger.
Don’t Forget the Aftercare (Especially If It’s Your First)
Having a hotwifing kink doesn’t automatically mean rough sex; in fact, it’s something you should savor, and after the deed, make sure that you and your partner’s needs (and even your guest’s) are met by doing some aftercare.
It’s important that everyone feels safe afterwards, and it’s the best time to ask your partner for some feedback about what went well and what didn’t.
You can also talk about any hiccups you ran into, like feeling awkward, not clicking with someone, or just stuff that didn’t quite work, because being honest about how you felt makes things way easier for your next session.
How About the Dynamics?
When it comes to hotwife kink, well, it really depends on the couple.
The hotwife can be submissive to their primary partner by allowing their “husband” to command the game. Or even resort to using cuffs or even watch them perform anal play to show who’s the boss.
Other hotwives prefer to dominate their husbands through cuckolding, and make their primary partners feel less, as they’re being devoured by the other person. This situation is where the hotwife has more power.
FAQs
We want to try hotwifing, but we’re in a long-distance relationship; can it work?
Yes, and you can do this by letting the hotwife meet new partners in the city, while the primary partner watches on video or joins via calls, and for some, they find it arousing if they rarely see each other personally.
What if one of us gets jealous?
Jealousy is a normal feeling, and it can arise at some point in your relationship, so make sure to plan, communicate really well, and talk about jealous feelings without any judgment.
How do we choose our “guest” partners for our hotwifing session?
You may want to invite people who respect your rules and understand that no means no, and while other couples want a total stranger, others want someone familiar. Either way, just be transparent enough to let them know about your limits or who the primary partner is.
So… Are You Ready to Share the Hotness?
Hotwifing kink may not suit anyone’s tastes, but if you’ve read this far, then there’s a good chance that the idea is at least poking your curiosity.
It can be so empowering and arousing, and you can see your relationship in a whole new way, like a team project, but if you and your partner decide to explore this new kink of yours, remember to be considerate and consensual, and of course, aftercare is your best friend.
What matters most is everyone’s enjoying it, and no one’s pressured to play a role that just doesn’t feel right.
And if you want some help when turning the heat up, whether you’re role-playing as a hotwife or going for the real thing, then you’d better check out these sexy toys from BeYourLover, and you’ll find that there are plenty of ways to have wonderful and consent-filled adventures together.
Special Thanks:
Gigi Engle - Writer - The Body
Speaking of kinks, and if you’d like to explore more types of it, you’d better check Things You Need to Know About Erotic Asphyxiation, How to Set Up the Perfect Sex Dungeon, and What is Exhibitionism.
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