Here are some tips on pushing each other’s buttons while keeping the play safer than ever.
If you’re the type who loves to dominate, just imagine your partner kneeling in front of you with those defiant and teary eyes, asking for more.
And if you love defying dominance, picture your partner taking all the control, while being tied up and can’t do anything.
Sounds appetizing?
Then you can think of the dom and brat dynamic as a shared game, where the brat brings the mischief, while the dom brings the calm and discipline.
But before anything else, remember that not respecting each other’s boundaries will always come off as distasteful. So, read on to find out how you can make your next dom and brat activity safer, more confident, and full of chemistry.
What is a Dom and Brat Play?
A dom and brat relationship usually includes BDSM or power play, where one partner sets the rules (the dom), and one acts unruly on purpose (the brat).
This might be slightly different from the usual play, because instead of the sub just taking it all in, the brat should tease, be mouthy, or even defy the dom every once in a while.
So, the dom performs as the “brat tamer,” and most of the time, the dom enjoys this push-and-pull dynamic, and it can be a great game that will surely give you both an awesome sexual energy.
The dom doesn’t only punish or train their brat, but they can also give them some rewards, but only if they’re doing great, and of course, they shouldn’t forget their aftercare after each play.
Because according to Very Well Mind, giving your partner aftercare will make you both feel more connected, satisfied, and even help reduce those anxious and guilty emotions.
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So, What Does a Dom or Brat Tamer Do?
Unlike most BDSM play, a dom during brat play should have lots of patience and not someone who forces everything; they need to tame their brat instead of just hitting them whenever they want, and when a daddy dom and brat are playing, there should be enthusiastic consent, meaning both partners should truly want it.
And during play, once the brat misbehaves, there’s also some power shift that can happen, because it’s when the brat can take the lead, which makes the play much more fun.
So, if you like to be a good dom or brat tamer, you should be:
Calm With a Strong Sense of Confidence
The perfect dom should be patient and shouldn’t just strike their partner because of irritation; instead, they should know the balance between being easy and authoritative.
Ready to Play and Can Adjust
If you’re a dom dealing with a mischievous brat, you can amp up everything by giving them a smirk, a dirty dom talk, or some spanking to let them know who’s the boss.
Clear With Rules and Boundaries
As a dom, you should be clear with setting the limits, because lack of consistency can make your power lose its appeal. Just make sure you’re consistent with applying pressure from start to end.
Patient and Flexible
Most brats will surely push your buttons to keep you engaged, so you should learn how to play back. But if the energy feels a bit unusual or different, then try to pause, because your boundaries might need some review.
What are the Best Strategies a Dom Can Do During Brat Taming?
Let’s get to the fun part! You can try applying these tips below to make you and your brat more satisfied and pleased during play.
Give Them Rewards
Is your brat annoyingly chatty? Hold those urges to spank them hard.
You can always do a soft dom and brat approach first by giving them some yummy treats whenever they follow your directions, or other privileges like using vibrators or nipple clamps for extra pleasure, to keep them muffled.
Enforce Some Silent Treatment
Just a bit. Don’t give your partner a cold shoulder the entire time to not kill the vibe. But giving your brat a stern look, turning away, or even ignoring them can prevent them from consistently goofing around.
Punish Them Right
When your brat teases you, you can show them who’s the master by giving them light spankings, using ticklers like Rosey, or even preventing them from having orgasms to keep them on the line.
Correct Their Mistakes
Did you ask your brat to do something, but lead to half-hearted results? Make them do their task again, and give them rewards afterward, but only if they show they’re dedicated enough.
Related: What is a Pleasure Sub?
If the Dom Leads, What’s the Role of the Brat?
The brat is the other half of the dom and brat play, who acts like a jackass most of the time and is willing to receive consensual punishments from their dom, like spanking or orgasm denial.
The brat’s job is to provoke the dom, and sometimes, even break all the rules to set up power. It’s like they always test their partner’s patience, like doing something on purpose, and provoke their dom partner by asking what they’re gonna do about it.
It’s when being annoying gets sexy, and here’s how you can crush it and awaken your dom more.
Snub Your Dom and Don’t Take Orders
Compared with other types of submissive partners like masochists and slaves, a brat fights back.
You can irritate your dom more by talking back while stomping your feet, like a bratty kid, or speaking in a much louder voice, or even ignoring them. And the best part? Ask your dom partner how they can make you stop, and pretty sure they will.
Act as Obnoxious as You Can
When annoying your dom, just make sure to keep it as natural as possible. If you’re not really the type to annoy people, you can always come up with different strategies. Like giving your partner some eye rolls or doing some passive-aggressive behaviors like invading your dom’s space, then acting cutesy.
Put Your Dom in the Spotlight
Just make sure that everything’s consensual; you can embarrass your dom by triggering what makes them feel a bit shaky, then say that you’re just playing. But be mindful that you’re not trying to get on their nerves by using their insecurities against them… well, unless they’re into it.
Act Against Their Orders
If your dom is the type to enforce a lot of rules and ask you to do something, try to do the opposite. For example, if they ask you to come near them, you can instead run away; you get the gist.
Say What You Want
Being a brat, you should always keep your ground and believe that what you say is the most important. So, say what you want, interrupt your dom when talking as much as you want. And repeat.
Play It Like You Don’t Get It
Question everything. When your dom asks you to dress up using the lingerie they bought, you can say, “How am I supposed to put it on?”
Because pretending that you don’t understand what’s going on, even if you do, can get as annoying as possible.
Interrupt Your Dom When They’re Busy
Your brat play doesn’t just end in the bedroom, because you can also be bratty while they’re super busy at work and texting them annoying messages, like messaging them jokes or anything trivial.
After that, you can send them a video of you who’s about to use a sex toy, then stop midway, and watch them go home rock hard and ready to give you some lovely spanking.
And hey, sexting doesn’t only make both of you more aroused, but it can also help build trust, boost sexual confidence, and make your next session much more satisfying, as stated in Just Mind.
Any Wicked Tips to Keep Dom and Brat Play Much More Harmless?
For starters, dom and brat play can feel awkward and never easy, so here’s how you can play with ease and respect.
Do Your Homework
Don’t just dive in without using that lump of tissue inside your skull.
Dom and brat play may sound simple, but not understanding how this kink works can ruin everything. So, make sure you’re both aware of dom and brat practices so you won’t get lost midway and just call it a day.
Create a Checklist
As a dom, don’t just tie down and punish your partner, and for brats, your role doesn’t just revolve around defying your dom.
For sure, there will always be other stuff that you’ll find uncomfortable, so write them down to help your list remind you of your limits.
Keep It Real
If you want to make your dom and brat play much more awesome, be honest about what you both feel, and don’t skip the safe word. If it doesn’t feel right, you can always pause and maybe tweak some things.
FAQs
How can we tell if all the teasing is still fun?
Communication plays a role here. But you can also check the moods, not just words, and if you feel like your partner has become unusually distant or quiet, try to pause the game and ask what’s going on.
What if the dom I’m playing with starts to ignore a limit?
This one is something you should take seriously. No dom isn’t entitled to do what they want and just brush it off by saying it’s part of the character. So, it’s best to have an honest conversation before you start, while everyone is still calm. And if they repeatedly ignore limits, stop playing with them.
Does dom and brat play always end in sex?
Great question. But not all dom and brat play have to include doing the deed, and it can just be flirty, sensual, or even funny. The power exchange matters more than the sex itself.
What are good reward ideas for a brat?
You don’t always have to go over-the-top when rewarding your brat, and other than giving them treats, you can also give them non-food rewards like praise, petting, permission to do the next activity, having a shower together, or some extra cuddles.
Can brat play also include humiliation?
Yes, it can, but it should be talked about first, because humiliation isn’t always sexy just because you like being a brat. Some find it naughty, while some who are sensitive can find certain words hurtful. So be careful.
Yes, You Can Keep Pushing Those Buttons!
Dom and brat play will always be that delicious little game of being who’s in charge; just keep the rules clear to know exactly what you’re dealing with.
Just remember that the best scenes aren’t all about acting meaner, but they’re about great chemistry and respecting each other’s limits.
But if you’re ready to make your next power play much more wicked, you can always head to BeYourLover and check their bondage kits, teasing toys, and even lingerie, so you can make your dom and brat play fantasies more confident and exciting.
Special Thanks:
Ariane Resnick - Writer - Very Well Mind
Adam Maurer - Writer - Just Mind
Does your brat and dom play need more punch? Then you’d better check our other guides, like How to Set a BDSM Scene at Your Home, What is a Pleasure Dom, and Your Guide to Getting Multiple Orgasms.
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