Liberated in Restraints: 10 Sex Positions You Can Enjoy in a BDSM Setting

Trust, restraint, surrender. Welcome to BDSM sex!

Not a Dungeon of Doom

BDSM. Hmmm… Sounds intimidating. If you’ve never tried it before. Maybe your imagination suddenly jumps into some sex dungeon. With very elaborate, life-sized (ala iron maiden) equipment and stuff.  Like it's a sexual gauntlet you have to survive. 

But sometimes, it’s simpler than that. Basic items like - Ropes. Cuffs. Blindfolds. With these, you can already get a taste of BDSM. Because at its heart, it’s about exploring power. Restraint and sensation. Plus consent. 

Also a bonus dose of anticipation there for you. If you’re curious about the positions you can try while you’re in a BDSM setup, we’ll get to that in a sec. But first, let’s take a look at what BDSM is. What makes it so appealing?

What’s BDSM Sex?

It’s short for bondage, dominance (or discipline), submission, sadism and masochism. BDSM is an umbrella term. A term for a diverse range of consensual sex. Yeah. The term’s kinda intimidating or intense sometimes.

But in practice? Surprisingly playful! For some couples out there, restraint’s a good thing. Loving the sensations. Some couples fancy the role-playing part. Where they’re giving and receiving commands. The others? Enjoying all the elements.

Here’s the most important one. Consent. That should never be ignored. BDSM’s not this empty space where you can do whatever you want. Getting away with harmful stuff. No. Like in any other kink, you should approach it in a healthy way. Always.

What Makes BDSM Sex Appealing?

You're probably asking why people enjoy it. For starters, BDSM gives you permission. Permission to what? To step outside your usual relationship roles. Maybe in your regular days, you make the decisions. 

You know, one in charge of keeping things neat and in order. In BDSM, you’re gonna let go of that control. Surrender for a lil’ while. If your dynamic's the other way around, great! You can reverse those roles in the bedroom. 

There's something freeing about it. What if you're fine with just keeping the same dynamic? In and out of the bedroom (instead of switching roles)? Perfectly fine too! Aside from BDSM’s visual novelty, something's also going on psychologically. 

Being trusted. Being restrained. They give way to anticipation and feelings of closeness. Another pleasant surprise here is… Your communication gets better. Consistently checking in. Asking if something's right. Or something should be paused.

You're on the right track. To a stronger connection beyond sex. Being extreme. Not always a requirement in bondage sex. It's asking you to be more like this instead: Intentional.

10 BDSM Sex Positions You Can Try

Ready for sexy possibilities? These positions can range from relatively simple to slightly advanced. Now, let's dig in and taste BDSM’s creamy filling. Here we go…

1. Tied/Cuffed Wrists Missionary

This is one of your easiest ways to add restraint to a familiar, accessible position. Missionary’s the most common one that folks do. With or without BDSM elements. Here, you’d be lying on your back as a receiver/sub. 

While your wrists are tied/cuffed to your bedposts. The reduced control you have? Makes you feel vulnerable. Inviting you to surrender. Tied wrists missionary. What a great starting point. Because simple is good. 

Keep those restraints comfortable though.

2. Bound or Restrained Doggy

In this variation of the classic doggy, you're gonna have your hands tied to your ankles. While your dom/giving partner pleasures you from behind. With their penis/strap-on, a vibrator or their mouth.

In this position, lots and lots of trust is present. You also need that sweet surrender to be held in place. This spiced up doggy, interesting. But please don't pull or twist your joints into unnatural angles alright?

You'll be needing some safe words/signals when you start feeling uncomfortable.

3. Collared Doggy

The same principles apply. Getting pleasure from behind. Woohoo! Backshots. But instead of your wrists being restrained, it moves up to your neck. By using a collar and leash for pulling.

Your dom’s gonna do the pulling here. Like your cuffs, you shouldn't wrap your collar too tight. Signals and safe words? You still need them here.

If you want extra intensity and consented helplessness, you can also wear a gag or blindfolds. Make your safe signals handy when the action gets a bit off.

4. Confession/Interrogation Chair

Do you want a BDSM, police scenario? This position is a fantastic idea for that. You'll be playing roles here. Who's the interrogator? Dom. The one in the hot seat? Sub.The sub’s gonna be tied up, bound to a sturdy (but still comfy) chair. 

While the dom walks around then receives pleasure from the sub after. This is also a perfect opportunity to give/receive oral sex. Just be mindful of the height and balance when trying this.

Again, a friendly reminder. Don't tie or attach your restraints too tightly. 

And… safe words. You can also undust that officer-inspired costume for extra immersion.

5. Spread Eagle

We're halfway through our list. Up next, spread eagle. In this position, you’ll be spreading your tied legs while standing. Your arms, raised and tied up. Basically forming an X shape.

You're restrained. But there's something liberating about it. You surrender. Just giving up control to your dom partner. They can penetrate you, rub/stroke your genitals, give you oral or stimulate you with a toy.

The pose gives them easy access to your private parts. While you're restrained.  Nothing else you can do. But ride that wave of submissive pleasure.

6. Hogtied

Next stop, the hogtied position. On this one, your wrists are bound to your ankles. While you lie on your stomach. This is more restrictive. So you must proceed with care.Your dom partner’s attention is very crucial here. 

Your ability to reposition or adjust is super limited while you're hogtied. Your partner can pleasure your butt and genitals. With their hands or a sex toy. As a sub, you can pleasure them orally in hogtied pose. 

Make sure your breathing is on point though. As always, safe signals are mandatory. Since this is kinda advanced, you can put this on your maybe someday list. If you're still a BDSM beginner.

7. Bound Cowgirl

In bound cowgirl, there's a little twist. The giver becomes the sub. Tied up to a chair. As a receiver, you're now the dom. Riding your bound partner. Cowgirl style. You can ride while facing them or facing the other way.

Maybe you can put blindfolds on them. To heighten up some anticipation. Not knowing where your erotic moves will come from. Since their hands are tied, you're in charge of your own balance here. So straddle and grind with care. 

Your chair must be sturdy too. Good enough to support you and your partner.

8. Spreader Bar

To do this position, you’ll need a piece of bondage equipment. Like the name suggests, a spreader bar. You need to lie on your bank while your legs are spread. The bar’s gonna keep your ankles in place.

With that stability, your dom partner can easily access your privates. But flexibility from person to person can vary. If this one makes you feel uncomfortable, you can just pick simpler BDSM sex positions.

Make sure your joints aren't unnaturally twisted. And see to it that it's easy to remove the bar when discomfort/pain enters the picture. Your safety, your comfort. They're always important. 

No matter how intense the BDSM sex could be. If you want a gentler way to enjoy your BDSM kink, there's a softer type of it.

9. Kneeled and Handcuffed Oral

You'll be getting out of the confession/interrogation chair here. You will give your partner some oral action. While you're on your knees. Hands tied on your back.

Since you don't have your hands to support your upper body's weight, let your partner hold your head or shoulders. While you're giving ‘em oral. Don't forget about your safe words/signals.

A lot of drooling might happen here. So get your wipes or clean towels ready. For more anticipation, you can wear a blindfold as well.

10. Crab Position

To do the crab, you gotta sit comfortably. While your legs are spread. Attached to them, your wrists. To add more impact on the visuals and sensations, the ropes could also be tied up to your chest area. Another position that leaves you exposed and vulnerable. 

Your privates are easy to access. The crab is a nice pick if you want a dash of shibari in there (ala Flower and Snake). But not too complex. You must be mindful of the ropes though. So you can avoid tangling ‘em up to a hazardous state. 

Your knees, your hips, your lower back. They should remain comfortable. Your flexibility matters here as well. Skip this one if it hurts. Maybe this is in the slightly advanced category. In need of a dope bondage starter kit? Check this out!

BDSM Sex Safety Reminders

Before you get carried away with the fun part, let’s talk about safety.

• Agree beforehand - Talk about what you’re comfortable trying. Before you start. Discuss specific boundaries. Instead of relying on vague statements. Like we’ll see how it goes.

• Establish safe words - A simple system like saying green, yellow, red. Basic colors as your codes. They can work nicely. Green means good. Yellow means slow down. Red means stop. Ooh. Like a traffic light right?

• Keep your restraints accessible - If you're the sub, your dom partner must be able to release you quickly. Don’t settle for wishful thinking here. Some structure would save you from unnecessary danger.

• Watch your circulation and breathing - Numbness. Swelling. Unusual coldness, discoloration, breathing difficulty and pain. If those things show up. Stop. Immediately. Those are your signals that your restraints must come off.

• Never leave your partner alone while they’re restrained - If you're the dom who’s in charge of restraining your partner. Please… Don’t leave them tied up or hanging (literally and figuratively). Stay present.

• Check in after your intense scene - Aftercare. Always a great thing to have. Take a moment together. Drink some water, cuddle, relax. Talk about stuff that felt good and take note of what didn’t. That convo’s pretty valuable.

Are you setting up a BDSM scene at home? Here’s an awesome post for you. If you need more tips in video form…

Watch Tripp Advice’s beginner’s guide video

BDSM Sex FAQs

Do you have to be experienced to try BDSM?

No, if you’re only trying the basic, softer, easier ones. You can gradually learn the techniques that you enjoy.

Does BDSM always involve pain?

No. Though some BDSM couples believe in pain for pleasure, it’s not a requirement. You can have fun with BDSM elements. Without making pain a part of your experience.

What should BDSM beginners try first?

You can begin with simple wrist restraints. They’re often easier to understand than elaborate bondage. Start somewhere comfortable. Then build from there.

Can BDSM be romantic?

Of course! BDSM can still have a tender, affectionate, funny side. It can be intense or frantic sometimes. But you’re still allowed to slow down.

How do you know when a position’s too restrictive?

When you can’t comfortably breathe or communicate (beyond the agreed limits), it’s too restrictive.

What if you change your mind during a specific act?

You can stop any time. Consent doesn’t mean you have to white knuckle your way through discomfort.

Bonding Through Bondage

BDSM doesn’t have to be super intimidating. Or very choreographed. You can simply say, you’re trying something different. Start small. Talk openly. The most exciting parts? Not always the ropes or the cuffs.

It’s the trust you’re building underneath. When you feel safe to surrender, confident enough to lead, you’re discovering a new side of intimacy. Together. Have a good one and stay safe!

Special Thanks:

Rachel Ann Tee-Melegrito - Medical News Today

Midori - Author, Sexologist

Tripp Advice